After personally battling PTSD following years of military service, I found counseling wasn’t “making me whole.” Therapy was helping, but there was still something missing. After trying anything that I could think of, I eventually tried yoga. And let me tell you, I hated it at first. You want me to sit alone with my mind for 60 minutes? You must be crazy. I know what goes on up there, and my mind was not a safe space.
But what I learned over time was that the key to unlocking my pain was through the breath and the body. I began explore meditation and yoga, and began to control my breath. What I found then was that by controlling my breath, I could then control my mind. The ocean of my mind was a hurricane. Winds blowing, ships capsizing. Complete and total chaos. But just below the surface of the waves, if you dive a little deeper, the water is calmer. And if you dive a little deeper, its quieter, and even calmer still.
I learned how to process trauma through my body and create new neural pathways, which not only made me feel more at ease and relaxed, but I found a stark decrease in the frequency of panic attacks and depression that I was experiencing. Using the body and the breath as the vehicle, I was able to create the conditions for my nervous system to re-grow, allowing me not only relief, but a sense of peace.
And by continuing to dive into the abyss of my mind, only joy remained. An overwhelming calmness and stillness persisted. Every time that I made it to this place, I’d try to stay a little longer. I did seem to like to swim back to the surface to see what is going on though, and when I did, I would get smashed by another wave.
But now, if I’m having an experience that throws me off and I feel another wave crashing down on my head, I now have the wherewithal to ask myself what in me do I need to address to keep my peace, to dive back deeper into the calm of the ocean.
It’s a wild ride, and if I’ being honest, most days I have no idea where I’m headed. But I take notice of the pulse of the earth, and follow the beating drums. I notice when a wave crashes on my head, then take a breath and dive a little deeper in the calm abyss. Ya know, Its amazing what you can get done when you just get out of your own way.
And now, I'm brining what I have learned to you. Its your turn now to prioritize yourself and to heal. Today is your day. And I will walk with you. My staff will walk with you. You are not alone. We are here with you. But soon, you will learn how to tap into that inner resource and be there for yourself. The door is already open, now its time to walk through.
Stephen Cope has a great quote that says:
If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you.
If you do not, it will destroy you.
So lets jump in my dear friends. Jump in and be free.
Thanks for giving us the opportunity to serve you and we can’t wait to learn more about how we can help. If you have any questions, or would like to schedule a time to chat more, please don't hesitate to reach out.
- Lindsey Knapp